I have been packing up our belongings intermittently over the past few weeks as we prepare for settlement on our new house. In this process there have been so many emotions and some reflections on how house moves impact us and our children. I believe moving house is noted as one of the great stressors in our lives and I am beginning to understand why. Strangely, I have moved 17 times in my life, so you would have thought I would have figured this out by now.
Not only is there the packing of items you want to take but also the sorting and categorising of other items which are destined for the tip, a charity, friends or family. With this comes the debate about what goes where, and whether as you find something in the cupboards that you haven’t used in years is worth keeping. This is stressful for us and must have a huge impact on families who move with children.
Fortunately, all our children are adults; however, my granddaughter has truly struggled with the concept that we won’t be in the same house and if we will forget her. Of course we won’t! We are moving only 10minutes away from where we are currently, but in her mind, this feels like the Grand Canyon and all her memories are in our current home.
For myself, as the time to move draws closer I have noticed that I am having some internal thoughts and emotions too. Have we made the right decision? This new place doesn’t feel like home, but our old one does. What if I want to change my mind (I am quite good at changing my mind)? What if we bought a money pit? What will our new neighbours be like? Will the dogs lie the house, or will I like the dogs at this new house? Will the bills increase or decrease at the new place? Where in hell I am going to put my furniture, or maybe I need new furniture!
If I am having these thoughts fleet through my mind on a repetitive cycle, our children, given they are little people and at times smaller versions of ourselves, must also have some worrying thoughts. I have no brilliant fail proof advice to provide anyone about to move but can offer whether your children are neuro-typical or neuro-divergent, preparation, patience and communication are vital strategies and skills. Include them in the process. One thing I did with my granddaughter is clear out a cupboard slowly with her and share some memories reassuring her that the items, as we packed them, and the memories were important and coming to the new house.
If you are about to move, or contemplating moving remember that our children need time to process our decision (patience), they need to know what the plan is (preparation) and kept up to date and can have their voices heard (communication).
